Zen Mastery

This particular moment is kinda itchy.

Happy Howl-oween!

Left to right: Jeremy, Beth, Hannah, Kelly, David & Adam


We had a most excellent Novo Collegiate Halloween! JC and Beth (and Hannah) came and camped with us, and David drove up from Ithaca for the afternoon. David was a student of Adam's folks back in the day - blast from the past and a genuine legend! He had only just returned from the Charter Class Reunion in Sarasota, and we got an update on the current inhabitants of the Ivory Tower. From all accounts it sounds like they are keeping the spirit alive and doing their best to make us all proud. Warms the heart...

It was a little chilly right on the water, but the guys got a toasty fire going and we had some cheap red wine to help keep us warm. The s'mores helped too. Then came the howling. For real y'all... we decided it was coyotes, and Hannah was ready to party with her people! JC brought out a super cool Jack-o-Lantern, but the photos didn't do it justice so you'll just have to use your imagination.

I've only ever camped once, when I was about 10. All I remember is rocks and spiders and wanting to go home. I never really cared to repeat the experience, but this was actually quite fun! Of course we had a proper cabin, with a space heater and a double bed. And since we only stayed one night, I didn't have to use the public shower... so not really camping. Whatever it was, was fun.

Stop and smell the... umm... leaf mold?

This a very pretty part of the world, at virtually any time of year. Winter snowscapes, spring and summer flowers (we are known as the Flower City, don't ya know). But this really is the most stunningly beautiful time of year in this area. And my absolute worst allergy season. Ah well.

This is a lovely, huge park that I have the good fortune to drive through a few times a week on my way to or from work. It is home to geese and ducks, squirrels and chipmunks aplenty, woodchucks (otherwise known as Fat Fuzzy Brown Things) and rabbits and foxes. There are probably even deer, though I haven't seen them IN the park, there are certainly enough of them on the adjacent highway! There is another park, maybe 15 minutes from this one, where I regularly see a flock of wild turkeys. Every time I see them, I wonder where on earth they go when it snows...

Anyways, take a moment to stop and savor the beauty around you today. It may not be as obvious as this, but I promise you it is there.

One Step Closer

The carpet went in Saturday morning. It really changed the space dramatically, more than I expected. Even the cats noticed! Nori really digs it, but Filbert is still a little unsure.

Adam rewired all the outlets today. Next step is staining and installing baseboards and trim, then choosing lighting. Oh yeah, and doors for the closets. Still debating the pros & cons of new windows...

I would like you to applaud my restraint

I just had one of those moments where a stranger's offhanded afterthought/comment brings on a sudden, strong emotion that just grabs you by the back of the neck and clouds all thought. Whoa, there!

I'm planning a Halloween get-together for New College alums in this region, and spent this morning building an invitation. As you see, the top line reads, "New College Alumni Halloween Gathering". I sent this off to the Alumni Office to be posted and emailed out, asking if it looked OK. The very nice guy I've been working with replied that it looked "awesome" and would start going out this week, blah blah blah, signed off and then


"P.S. My only recommendation would be changing the word "alumni" to "alumnae/i" in coordination with the New College Alumnae/i Association's use of a gender-neutral alum designation, but that's really a minor point, and most entities on campus still use "alumni." One day!"


An admirable sentiment. Offhand, and clearly not critical. And it immediately got my back up. 

I wrote back explaining that while I am well aware of the issues surrounding women's rights and gender equality and that generations of women who came before me fought strenuously for (among many more important things) the recognition and inclusion of those two letters. Those women basically enabled a world in which I do not feel disempowered as a result of my sex, and ultimately paved the way for my right to rather vehemently not give a rat's... (ahem) about that "ae".

My gut reaction was that words only wield whatever power you grant them, and that "i" has no impact on me. It's just a word, it can't hurt you if you don't let it. Sticks and stones and so on. Then I thought, just suck up and be helpful - making that change is really not difficult and there are other people who DO care. So I settled my fur and convinced myself to be reasonable and made the change. And it looked like... well, I'm not going to use that sort of language here, but I didn't like it. A lot. It really did make a surprising change in the overall aesthetic. It stopped being casual and started looking like it was "trying just a little too hard" if you know what I mean, and that makes a statement of its own. One that is at odds with my personality. I am not THAT girl, I just don't care that much.

I got to the end of my e-rant, and realized that I still hadn't made up my mind whether or not to add the "ae" and that I really didn't want to. Partly because of the aesthetics and partly just to make a point. I also realized that this poor guy who doesn't know me at all was about to get blasted by my emotional non-compliance over two letters in a post script comment. I'm quite certain he didn't deserve it. So I deleted the whole email and instead sent the following:


"I made the change as suggested, but I don't like how it looks. If it's all the same, can we leave it as is?"


My restraint, it is admirable. Right up until I posted the whole thing here. Ah well.